2015 recap

TarynDavidsonfantasy7photo by tim walker

before we head into the new year, i thought i’d do a little recap of 2015 here. this has been a pretty big year for me. i think i have put down enough of a foundation down to make 2016 my biggest yet. so much that can, & is bound to, happen… but for now, 2015.

some goals i had for 2015 were to improve my singing, learn more about (making) music, learn to write lyrics, make more art in general, make more videos, read more & save money. i think, overall, i have done well. with a lot of hard work, my singing has greatly improved. i still wouldn’t call it ‘good’, but i have reached a point that it is not unpleasant to hear. you should know that i have no natural talent for melodic singing whatsoever. later in the year i have also been working on more aggressive vocals. i think that i am much better at that.

this year i also learned to play the guitar! something i never thought i could do. i had lessons in the first half of the year & then just kept practicing on my own, & with my brother. i also tried to learn some musical theory, but that ended up being a disaster, haha.

as for other arts, i did a bit of sewing, drawing, & painting. i ended up mostly writing. in november i spontaneously participated in nanowrimo again & succeeded in writing a novel of 50,000 words. i wrote some short stories too. & even some poems, which could also be lyrics.

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i didn’t make as many videos or read as many books as i planned, because i honestly wasn’t as interested in it as i expected to be. & my last goal of saving money…. hahahahaha. what a spectacular fail. it was an educative fail though.

but enough of the boring goal stuff. i also did a lot of fun things this past year. some of my biggest highlights were my trip to england to see frank iero & later the wgt festival in germany with one of my favourite people in the world. i went to a lot of parties & other events with people i adore. of course i also went to a lot of concerts. i saw quite a few amazing bands more than once. even sort of befriended some of them. big highlight there is every time i die, who i will see again, at least three times, next year.

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i traveled around a lot more than i had expected this year, which was fantastic. budapest, brighton, oxford, around germany & just new places in the netherlands. this year i have really come to realize how happy traveling can make me. compared to that, all the material shit that i usually spend my money on means nothing.

speaking of material shit, this year i have been put off materialism and capitalism like i never have before. while i have also become obsessed with lolita fashion. oh, the contradiction. but especially later in the year, i really have become less materialistic. while i did spend a hell of a lot of money this year, i don’t think i bought that much (compared to previous years). a major reason for this is music. i am listening to stray from the path’s black friday as i’m typing this. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve heard TOO MANY PEOPLE BUY TOO MANY THINGS THEY DON’T EVEN NEED in my head as i was contemplating some essentially useless purchase. stray from the path has been one of my biggest musical obsessions this year. along with bands like cancer bats, counterparts, letlive. & rolo tomassi. it’s like i’ve fallen in love with hardcore & hardcore-related music in general all over again. more than ever it felt like that is where i belong.

yes, this has been a good year. of course, there were also some less pleasant things, but they are so small compared to the rest. i am so grateful for the many nice experiences i’ve had & the things that i’ve learned. thank you to everyone who was a part of it!

some honourable mentions: ♥ growing my hair out & dying it green ♥ turning 25 ♥ that crazy weekend around my birthday ♥ confirming my eye surgery ♥ comic books ♥ gala darling providing endless inspiration ♥ getting back into games ♥ successfully finishing the second year of my study ♥ being secretary of my study association, with a wonderful team around me ♥ anime ♥ meeting so many fantastic new people ♥ including online friends & acquaintances ♥ wearing my same favourite clothes over & over again ♥ knitting ♥ the shows penny dreadful, vikings, & gilmore girls ♥ re-reading all the harry potter books ♥ scents ♥ the elf fantasy fair ♥ pop punk ♥ making a 2015 playlist on spotify ♥ minimalism ♥ having a decent hardcore festival in my old local town ♥ shamelessly indulging in my girliest side ♥ re-discovering old favourite things ♥ enjoying a subscription to rock sound ♥ visiting libraries for fun again ♥ wandering around new cities without any plan ♥ honesty ♥

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my first lolita tea party

frankmillarphoto by frank millar

last sunday i went to a lolita tea party at summer tales boutique, right at the centre of the dutch lolita community. it was the first time i went to a lolita event. i got all dressed up in my angelic pretty dress, slapped pastels on my face & donned a long wig and a cute bear hat. i think i did pretty well with my coord; i even got some compliments. unfortunately i forgot to take pictures, otherwise i could have shown you.

since i live relatively close by, i went on my bicycle, getting lots of interesting looks along the way. i arrived at the same time as some other guests & i walked behind them to the main area. before i had reached the top of the stairs i was already thinking what the fuck am i doing here? (behold un-lolita language) it was a phrase i would repeat several times in my head throughout the afternoon. it’s strange getting involved into such a new community. when i stepped over the threshold i stepped into a whole ‘nother world. the smallish space was filled with petticoats. all the people in-between looked spectacular. it’s nice having other people to dress up with.

i sat down at one of the first tables i reached, joining two others. they were lovely. everyone was lovely. we had our first cups of tea & waited until the rest of the guests arrived. there were 55 in total. finally, the charming girl behind the boutique went up front to welcome us all. she also showed us the new collections she & her team had been working on for the past few months. all perfectly charming pieces. i was already questioning my fragile resolve not to buy new clothes anymore. i can’t get that chiffon babydoll dress out of my head. perhaps… it is important to support small businesses…

after her talk we could go down to the store to admire all the fine pieces & buy what we wished. i only bought one of the new rings, since i didn’t really have the money for more. i would have liked to try on one of the new dresses, but it was so packed in that small store. & everyone was wearing petticoats. at several points i found myself stuck in a group of people, immobilized by petticoats. we could all laugh about it though.

later we went back up to eat. when everyone was seated again, platters of baked goods and sandwiches were deposited on all the tables. i had let the people who organised it know beforehand that i was vegan. i thought that they would probably put some small things on the side for me & other vegans, but i got a whole plate for myself! a whole meal, which was fantastic. i got a sandwich, a fruit salad, a cupcake, & a scone with soy cream & jam. my mouth is watering just thinking about it. it made me so happy that they made such delicious food for vegans as well. there were more vegans there than i expected too.

then it was time for the costume contest. there were five contestants, all dressed fantastically. one girl in white had a handmade tophat with flowers and fairy lights; another had made almost her entire outfit herself, complete with an elaborate headdress with even more fairylights; there was one in oldschool lolita with bells in her hair; one girl who took inspiration from the story of christ; & a girl who was dressed as a present & threw glitter everywhere. it was amazing. very motivating to go further with my coord a next time.

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after the contest there was also a lottery. to my great surprise, i won something! i won two rings from the new collection. i went home with a lot of new rings. there was also one in the lucky pack that i had gotten along with my ticket. in my lucky pack there was also a hair bow and a rosary necklace.

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to close the event, we all went outside & braved the december cold for some group pictures. before we left, we could take a card from the small christmas tree. earlier in the day we had all written something nice on a card & hung them up. i went home with a card that said (translated) that i looked fabulous. i thought that was a sweet little extra.

it was a magical experience overall. the only thing was that i still felt a bit awkward & out of place in that community, but i think it will be better a next time. i do fully intend to go to a second lolita tea party. time will tell how i fit into the lolita community in the long run. if i don’t, well, i still have my gothicly inclined friends.

video – the benefits of morning pages

absent for a couple of weeks & wordpress has completely changed on me again. oh well. the past november i’ve been busy with nanowrimo & the past two weeks i’ve been busy recovering from nanowrimo. but now i’m back!

i made a video again. this one is on the benefits i’ve been experiencing from writing morning pages.

hope you like it.
i’m working on a review of mockingjay part two, which should be up soon. tomorrow i’m going to a lolita tea party, which i think i will also write about. some things to look forward to 🙂